Early Morning Confusion

By Rachel

Disclaimer: Kitty, Marrow, and all other X-men, and their universe belongs to Marvel, I’m only borrowing them. No profits are being made from the posting of this story.

Warning: Language, and an f/f relationship.

This story is based on the poem “Early Morning Bloodshot Mindfuck” by Alestar reposted here with the permission of Alestar213@aol.com

Archives: Please ask permission if you wish to archive this story at your site, so I can send any more chapters to you. Please do not post this at any pay site.

Feedback: Please send any feedback to rachel12@tampabay.rr.com also let me know if you like to see any more.

About the Author: I’ve written eight storied based on the Xena universe, this is my first based in Marvel’s. Which I was forced to write after reading’s “Early Morning” a couple months ago, I simply could not forget it because I wondered just how a Kitty/Marrow relationship could happen, and if it’s believable.

Part One

She paused at the top of the stairs wondering if she was there, wondering if Marrow was listening for her steps, wondering if the mutant was confused at her stopping at the top of the staircase.

It had been an accident in her finding the poem. The team was waiting to run their latest training session and like normal Marrow still had not shown. So Bobby asked her to phase up to the mutant’s room in the basement and get Marrow going. Of course when she phased through the floor into the basement room, Marrow was already gone, just another demonstration from her that she’s independent from the rest of the team Kitty guessed..

She still didn’t know what made her pick up the torn scrap of paper, maybe because it was the only thing that had writing in the messy room. Maybe she was curious as to what Marrow would read, that was one trait she shared in her code name, and cats were curious.

“So here I am. Fuck this. Fuck it. Fuck walking on air.
Fuck waiting around for your footsteps on stair.
Pretty Pretty got lots waiting around for her there.
Boys
and glass slippers
and other pretty things.
Fuck.

Boys bend and cum and fall asleep.
Glass slippers shatter.
Pretty things wither in winter in shadow in hardship.
Not me.
I wait for soft footsteps. I wait under the stair.
I wait for the chance to put stars in your hair.

You're a cat, right? That's your theme. That's your thing.
And I'm a sewer rat that found light when it sprouted a wing
and came up through the cracks with its heart in a sling.
Literally.
Your wind-riding pal
ripped my heart out.
Trend.

Damn, isn't that romantic?
The play on words there? Fuck.
Why can't you be bloody like everything else?
Like me.
Then I could reach you down here, without wing
instead of trying to prove that even sewer rats sing.

Because they don't, not really. They borrow what people flush
down their fucking commodes. Hope and slush.
They sure as hell never stare into brown eyes with awed hush.
Light's
affecting my brain.
Seratonin poisoning.
Antidote

is simple. I need the darkness.
I want the darkness in you.
Or, better yet, I want you to want the darkness
in me.
That's the only reason to go under the stair,
right? Must be crazy to seek out the sewer rats' lair.
So I'll ruffle your feathers, make you fall from on wing,
down to the sewer, from the light that you cling.
And maybe you won't be the same in the slush,
But at least you'll be mine. The sewer rat's lush.

Fuck.
I wouldn't do that to you.

So I let you pass over the stair, keep my hiding place,
like Billy Goat Beautiful
over a troll's bridge.
A pink troll.
Like those stupid fucking fluffy hair trolls. With the jewels in the their
bellies.
Damn.

I really should stop all that sniffing of glue.
I need to loose some of my reason in you.”

Kitty knew in the first two lines it was a poor attempt at a poem, it broke all the rules she learned in English class. And Emily Dickinson certainly never used such language! She was confused at first, and then light headed, a hand was needed on the wall to help keep her upright, as she started to understand what Marrow was saying.

Coming out of her stupor, Kitty started down the stairs, listening for the faintest sound that Marrow was under the stairs. Yet only silence greeted her ears, all too soon she reached the bottom, so instead of turning for the kitchen to join her friends at breakfast, she turned and walked to the window next to the door leading down to the basement. Halting, she looked outside the frosted grass plates to the snow covered grounds of the mansion. She always liked winter, walking at night in the falling snow away from the roads. It was so quiet, and beautiful, that her thoughts always drifted away to a fine inner peace.

Why was she doing this she wondered as her fingers caressed the frosted glass? She was not into women at all, sure she loved Storm, but that was more of a motherly feeling, even if at times she felt like kissing her mother to show her friendship. Then there was Rachel, god she missed her, and there were times that she felt as if part of her disappeared along with her friend. And of course Illyana, the fumbling under the blankets with her former roommate and experiments in kissing were just practicing for boys.

Of course there’s been boy’s, Peter was her first love, she even offered herself to him when it looked like they were going to die in outer space. But he refused her, which turned out of the best, since only a few months later he dumped her for some dead alien healer. That hurt, not that Peter dumped her, she was already guessing that maybe it was not to be with him. But to be cast aside for a dead woman, she already was self-conscious about herself but that nearly destroyed her. Then while with Excalibur there was a parade of young men that she felt interested in, yet they all had eyes only for her Rachel.

Kitty blinked suddenly at her thoughts, then smiled shaking her head, no she thought, nothing there; she just had a term of endearment for her lost friend. And of course Pete Wisdom shown up, he made her into a woman, and she did love him. But something was missing, her stint S.H.I.E.L.D. showed that, so the relationship ended with pain on both sides.

Running her hand through her now short hair Kitty wondered what she was doing. No sound came from the basement and if Marrow was watching her, what does that mean, why was she curious about it? Was this another way to show her friends that she changed? Many of them were already voicing their options about her new hairstyle, Bobby even saying that it made her look a bit butch. Which promptly got the Iceman a kick in the rear from an outraged Jean?

“Darkness within her”, that’s what Marrow wrote in her poem, would she want the darkness in Marrow? Then with an abrupt shake of her head, Kitty told herself it was an open question, would she want the darkness in any person? She loved Logan like a father; he’s ticked her off at times yet she loved him. Pete, she loved him more it seemed when he was so abusive about his past, yet when he showed his tender side she drifted away from him.

“KITTY, BREAKFAST” a voice called from the kitchen, she instantly recognized as Bobby’s.

Still shaking her head in confusion, Kitty turned away from the window and walked towards the kitchen. Not seeing the silent form exiting from the door underneath the staircase.

Marrow stared at the departing Shadowcat wondering what the young woman had been thinking while gazing out the window. Turning her head a gasp escaped the mutant’s lips as she stared at a drawing Kitty had scratched into the window frost. A small heart, with ‘Marrow’ written in the center.

Part Two

Brown eyes watched in utter fascination as the flakes fell slowly from the sky like a soft cool blanket. The air was muffled around her the only sound her ears could pick up was the gentle breeze moving the branches of the tree’s surrounding the estate of the Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters. Kitty’s face was peaceful; she couldn’t remember the last time she went walking during a snowfall. The lights from the mansion gave off a soft glow to the night sky as she made her third tour around the house, processing so many memories that it made her realized that she already experienced more in her eighteen years than most people experienced in several lifetimes.

Yet she knew that her mind had refused to confront the main reason for her walk. Sarah, also known as Marrow, a member of the X-men, and a fugitive from the law, the former leader of Gene Nation, responsible for the deaths of hundreds. And yet, Kitty was wondering what it would be like to kiss her.

“Boy, Pryde,” she told herself out loud, “You certainly know how to pick them.” Taking a few more steps she stopped to look out over the dark waters of the lake that bordered the grounds of the mansion. “It’s not like you never been with a woman before” She said as her features turned into a grimace.

Yes her mind said, as it turned back to Paris on her fifteenth birthday. Courtney Ross, friend…ex-lover of her ex-team mate, Captain Britain. Separated from the rest of the team, the X-Men believed dead, feeling lost and alone. Courtney turned the day into a dream with dancing, dinner, walking until dawn. Then that faithful drive that ended with them both sharing a picnic blanket, next thing Kitty knew Courtney was kissing her, then they made love.

After they finished, Courtney drove to a nearby inn where they got some much needed sleep laying in each others arms, when they woke up, they made love again. This time she was the aggressor, and truly lost her virginity to Courtney’s soft hands.

She never told anyone about what happen, the age of consent in Britain is sixteen plus Courtney Ross was a well-respected businesswoman. If word had gotten out she would have been ruined. So they kept their meetings a secret, not that there were many, just enough for Kitty to fall hopelessly in love. Then her dream turned into a nightmare, at a party it was revealed that Courtney Ross had been dead the whole time, and that Sat-Yr-9 had been taking her place. The woman quickly captured Excalibur but for Kitty, drugged she managed to phased into a crawlspace. There while Sat-Yr-9 troops searched for her, she fought not only the drugs flowing through her body. But the betrayal of her heart, she didn’t know which hurt worse, only that the pain of the betrayal lasted longer.

Tilting her head back up to watch the falling snowflakes, Kitty understood then why she hesitated. The pain, it hurt when she broke up with Peter, then later her lover Wisdom, but it had been nothing compared to the pain of Sat-Yr-9’s betrayal. She wondered, would she have been more attracted to women if not for Sat-Yr-9?

A barrage of snow falling from the tree she was standing next to interrupted her thoughts. Without looking she knew who had jumped onto the branches above. “Good evening Sarah.” She called out in a crisp voice while keeping her eyes on the lake.

Trying to recover the dignity she lost by giving herself away, Marrow scowled as she looked over the bundled up mutant, “I think Pretty Kitty crazy, walking circles in the snow.”

Holding back her laugh, the brown haired mutant turned her gaze towards Sarah, slowly taking in her features as she dropped down beside her. She was beautiful Kitty thought, if not for the bones protruding from her body cause by her mutancy. “Who’s more crazy,” she asked in her soft voice. “Me walking around in the snow, or you following me for the last hour?”

Caught, Sarah didn’t say a word just stared at the ground. Her mind had been on Kitty ever since the young woman absent-mindedly scratched a heart with her name on a frost-covered window.

Not pushing the older girl, Kitty turned her head back to the lake, wondering what she should say.

“Crazy because Pretty Kitty thinks too much of me.” Marrow suddenly said, her eyes turning into slits as she gazed at the abruptly shaken woman beside her.

“Oh!” was all Kitty could voice, while her mind was telling her that Marrow solved the problem of what to talk about. Turning her gaze fully upon the mutant, she realized that Sarah was not wearing any coat against the weather. “Aren’t you cold?” she asked concerned about the woman.

Laughing, Marrow turned and paced behind Kitty, smiling as the mutant refused to turn around and watch her. “Up worlders need coats against the weather, but Morlocks used to the cold, used to trash, used to weak up worlders.” Stopping behind the smaller browned hair mutant, Sarah leaned over whispering into her ear. “Pretty Kitty try and change subject, why you think so much of me?”

Katherine Pryde felt the sweat trickling down her forehead even though the night air was cold against her face. Well, Pryde her mind scolded her, what will you say, the truth, or a lie. You feel her right behind you, feel her breath against your skin, smell her scent. Come on Pryde, SAY SOMETHING! “I found it.” She blurted out, “Your poem, I found it.”

Marrow was frozen in place; this was the one thing she did not expect. In an instant her mind went from outrage that Kitty read her deepest thoughts, then chastisement for putting it all on paper. And finally realization that after she read it, Kitty desired her.

If Shadowcat noticed any hesitation, it was lost due to her nervousness. Sarah slowly moved around Kitty until she faced her, green eyes staring into brown. Moving forward closer to the woman of her dreams, Marrow hid her grin as Kitty backed up. Pushing forward even more until with a start, Katherine realized that she backed herself into the tree. She thought about phasing through it, but that would be the coward’s way out and she was tried of being a coward.

“Pretty Kitty wants Morlock?”

“No” came a almost silent reply, as Kitty looked up at a pair of surprised green eyes, “I don’t want a Morlock, I…..I want you……I think”

Placing her hands on each side of Shadowcat’s head, Marrow effectively blocked her from escaping from either side. She didn’t want Kitty to know that she was mostly doing it to keep from falling at the girl’s revelation. Leaning in closer, Sarah’s tongue darted outwards licking snowflakes off the girl forehead as she spoke almost in a whisper. “Pretty Kitty, can always run away.” Pausing she licked away more flakes from Kitty’s cheek. “But, does Pretty Kitty want to run?”

Eyes closed, Kitty thought of all the reasons she should phase through the tree and run back to the mansion. In fact so many reasons came to her head that she thought her brain would explode. Then she thought of the one insane reason for her to stay. Leaning forward she pressed her lips against Sarah’s in a tender yet demanding kiss. While her mind told her the one reason to stay. It felt right.

Part Three

Kitty shifted the leather chair, waiting for the double doors to open and Professor Xavier to call her into his office. This by far the mutant thought, had to have been the second worse day in her life. “Note to self.” She exclaimed feeling a bit frustrated, “In the future, do not even think to try and keep a love affair secret in a house full of telepaths.”

With a groan, Kitty thought back to this morning, just when it seemed everything was going good for once. She let Sarah know of her interest, she even kissed the mutant. After that, things just progressed so naturally, at least she guessed so for when one has sex with a Morlock. Marrow grabbed a hold of her hand and almost dragged her to the woman’s basement room, and then for the next several hours made love to her. Marrow had done things to her that she never dreamed that she would even let anyone even think, let alone do. Yet, red-faced she asked for more until they were both exhausted, and then they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

She felt the touch upon her mind, if she had been less fatigued from Sarah’s love making, Kitty would have realized that Jean had just contacted her. She would have heard the telepath saying “Kitty, breakfas….” Before the woman abruptly withdrew. Stirring in the basement bed, Shadowcat moved her arm around the bone protruding from Sarah’s left shoulder and pulled the woman tight against her.

CRASH!

Kitty jerked upwards, phasing herself through Marrow, and the blankets into a sitting position as the top stairs door shattered open, while Sarah rolled naked out of the bed facing the stairs. A mass of footsteps echoed down the stairs. With the voice of Ororo Munroe, Katherine’s surrogate mother leading the charge, “MARROW,” came a loud unnatural screech, “GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY KITTEN!”

“Oh my god!” was all Kitty could get out as she phased the blanket pulling it upwards to cover her body. Marrow not caring about her nakedness, confronted the outraged woman with a sneer, “Too late for that Stormy.”

Following Ororo down the steps was Kitty’s surrogate father Logan known as the mutant Wolverine. He was calling out to the dark goddess to calm down, when he saw Marrow, then shifted his eyes to the bed containing Kitty. “Oh boy.”

Then to Kitty’s horror, stumbling down the steps behind Logan, came Bobby Drake, the team’s jokester, and forever adolescent. Seeing the two nude women, he just pumped his right hand several times and yelled, “ALL RIGHT!” while continuing to leer at Kitty. Then in quick succession, came Jean, “OH MY GOD!” Betsy, “WELL IT’S ABOUT TIME YOU REALIZED IT KID!”

And to Kitty’s utter despair Jubilation Lee, “EEEWWWWWW…..GROSS!” Rubbing her forehead, she could only think that this would have to be the day that Jubilee would visit Wolverine.

“FUCKING HO!” Marrow yelled at a screaming Ororo, only to have the bony mutant held back by a determine Psylocke, while Logan held onto a struggling Storm, who was yelling her own obscenities at Sarah.

Even though she wanted to phase into the ground, Kitty looked at the chaos around her. Aside from the screaming Marrow and Storm, with Betsy and Logan trying to keep them apart. Bobby had settled into a chair watching, as he yelled about wanting to see some naked wrestling. Jean had a shocked look as she tried to shield Jubilee from seeing anything. Yet the young Chinese girl kept dodging around the tall redhead making comments about how sick Kitty was, and that Wolverine was lucky to find out.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Kitty shouted to a room that quickly became still, with the shocked occupants staring at the girl. Shaking her head, Shadowcat spoke in a more calm tone, “Forgive my language, but can you all please leave. Sarah and I will be up in a bit, and hopefully.” This time her gaze turned to Ororo, “Have a quiet, civilized conversation.”

Storm was the first to move with a shake of her mane of white hair, then tried to regain some dignity. “I look forward to that Katherine.” She said in a tone that said she was not finished with Marrow. Turning, Ororo walked up the stairs stepping over the broken door. Followed by Logan, with downcast Jubilee close at his heels mumbling how Kitty was a disappointment, and that he should have known that he could always depend on his Jubes.

With a wink to Kitty, Betsy took her turn to exit the room, while talking to no one in particular, “About time she realized it, kid been moping around the house trying to figure it out.” Both Marrow and Kitty then turned their gaze at Jean Grey, who looked liked a deer caught in a cars headlights. Easing slowly towards the steps, the woman suddenly turned and ran up to the hallway while saying she was sorry.

Sarah stood in the middle of the basement still naked, with her hands on her hips staring after the departing Jean, shaking her head. “You know Kit, I never expected Red to fall apart like that?” Turning to look at Kitty, Marrow saw that the young woman was rubbing her forehead as if she had a headache. Concerned about her new lover, Sarah asked if she was okay?

“Bobby, get out.” Kitty said simply.

A brief groan came from the chair in the corner of the room, as Drake stood with a huge grin and backed up towards the stairs, his eyes locked on the nude woman. “Looking good Marrow.” Taking a step backwards up the stairs, Bobby stumbled slightly but quickly regained his balance. “Kitty, see you later, like to have a man to man talk about women if you don’t mind.” As he kept walking backwards up the stairs, Bobby kept bowing lower and lower, until finally his view of the basement was cut off. Then a pathetic tone floated downwards, “Hey, where did everyone go?”

“Well, that went better than I thought it would,” Marrow said as she walked over to the pile of clothes on the floor searching through them until she found a pair of panties.

With a roll of her eyes, Kitty dropped the blanket that had been shielding her, and joined Sarah at the pile, rummaging for her own clothes. “I need to borrow one of your shirts,” Kitty quietly said as she looked over her black tank top, then glanced at the bite marks on her breasts and stomach. “Things are going to be hard enough without them seeing these.

Smirking, Marrow walked behind Kitty, and lightly nibbled her neck, “I could have bit where it couldn’t be hid.” Turning to the dresser, Sarah dug around then pulled out a green, extra-large New York Jets jersey. Turning, she watched as Kitty bend over the clothes pile still searching for the rest of her clothes. Walking closer she placed a hand on her lover’s rear, smiling as Kitty jerked upwards. “You best not wear a skirt, cause if a updraft catches it, you’ll have more than just bites on your tits to explain.

With her face turning red, Kitty quickly slipped on the baggy jersey and pants. Having only her heavy boots from last night, she decided to forgo shoes. “I had hoped to delay this.” Kitty said in a low voice, “Not sure how they all would react to me….and you.”

Marrow blinked not sure how to take what Kitty meant, being who she was; it was not something she could let pass. “What do you mean by that?” Sarah asked with hands on hips. “React to me, as in being a woman, or Morlock?”

Hesitating, Kitty looked at Sarah, then let out a sigh, it already had been a grueling morning, and she didn’t need to add to the difficulty, yet lying was not something she was ever good at. “React to you as being the former leader of Gene Nation.” Kitty replied, her brown eyes watching Marrow carefully. “Ororo, has always been picky on who I have chosen to have any relationships with. She has high goals for me, and with your past, well, you saw her reaction just now.”

Keeping an even expression, Marrow tried to hide the natural rage that was building up inside her, “What I did in Gene Nation’s was justice, I revenged the Morlock’s murdered by the up-worlders.”

Starting to reply, Kitty halted before the first words left her mouth, then shook her head. “They’re waiting for us upstairs, lets finish this conversation later, okay?”

Already turning for the stairs, Marrow started upwards, as she heatedly called out “You can bet on that!”

Coming out of her recollections, Kitty looked at the door leading to the professor’s office, wishing it would open and get it over with. Leaning back once again, she started going over once again their breakfast with the rest of the team, followed by her disastrous fight with Sarah. Maybe she was wrong, this was not her second worse day ever, it had to have been the worse.

Part Four

She watched as Sarah walked up the steps then quickly followed, not wanting her lover to confront her friends by herself. Kitty gave a brief shake of her head over the clothes she was wearing. An extremely baggy N.Y. Jets jersey, jeans, and barefoot, “Great choice Pryde,” she told herself, “You look like a stereotype lesbian.” Taking the steps two at a time, Kitty phased though the broken door wondering if Storm used her powers, or just knocked it off it’s hinges?

As expected the hall was empty, so she hastily made her way into the kitchen, where she found her adopted family all sitting at a quiet breakfast. Sarah was at the stove cooking some eggs, but looked up smiling, “You like them over-easy right hon?” Grimacing at the look Ororo suddenly gave Marrow, Kitty replied with a nod, as she walked over to make some toast for the both of them.

“Kitty,” Bobby suddenly piped up, “Think you can introduce me to any girls, maybe we can go out on a double date?” Seated next to him, Jubilee rolled her eyes, while pausing in eating her bowl of Sugar Bombs “Jeez Bobby, like buy a vowel, you think any girls Kitty knows would be into guys?”

“Jubilee, shut up,” Ororo said tensely her eyes locked on the smiling Marrow.

It hurt, Kitty gave a quick glance at Jubilation, she knew that at times the girl was jealous of Logan’s feeling for her. Yet, she had thought they had gotten past that and became friends. Telling herself that she’ll talk to the girl later about it, Kitty could not but help feel the tension in the air. Plus the fact, that breakfasts have always been loud, far too much talking across the table, each person trying to be hear above the other, it’s what helped in making them a family.

Guessing it was up to her to start it off, Kitty looked at the woman sitting next to Logan, “Betsy, what did you mean that you always known?”

Startled, Psylocke looked around the table seeing that everyone was focused on her. Thinking that she’ll have to get Shadowcat back for singling her out. “Well, when I had to hold your essences together after you were injured by the Marauders. Our minds merged, and I felt your feelings for Illyana and Rachel, even though you were denying them at the time.

“RACHEL” Jean suddenly said, looking at Kitty her eyes slightly glazed over, the fork she was holding tumbling to the floor.

“Oh great,” Kitty mumbled as she rubbed the bridge of her nose, then looked at Rachel’s, mother, or future mother, or….. Damn, she thought, why does things always get so bewildering when the Summer’s clan got involved. “Jean, nothing happen between me and Ray,” Kitty said softly, “It was only the confused thoughts of a fourteen year old.”

“Jeez, Kitty,” as Jubilee spoke up, “How many girls has there been, like pick a number.”

“Jube’s,” Logan said in a deep tone, “Shut up.”

Setting a couple plates on the end of the table, Sarah scooped the eggs onto each with a grin as she looked at Storm. “Judging how good she was last night Jubilee, a few.”

“OHHHH…SHEEZZZZZ, LIKE I REALLY DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW THAT, THANK YOU!”

“Jubilation,” Jean said, her eyes watching for Storm’s reaction. “Shut up.”

If Storm was upset, Kitty didn’t notice, she was seeing red herself, “Sarah, don’t use me, or what happen last night to take pot shots at Ororo, you really don’t want to go there.”

A tightening of the lips was all of Marrow’s response at first, then after putting the skillet back on the stove she sat down at the table while Kitty, served the toast. “Fine, then Stormy can tell you why she’s so upset with you being with another woman?

“No Marrow,” Storm said in a calm even tone, her rage so apparent in the basement now gone, “If Kitty is attracted to women, and it sounds like she may be.” Glancing at Kitty expecting a response, Ororo took just a moment to see that Shadowcat only seemed interest in pouring two cups of coffee, one which she placed in front of Sarah, who while still looking at Storm, placed her hand on top of Kitty’s. Only to scowl when the mutant phased her hand and sat down in front of her breakfast refusing to look at Marrow with a frown passing over her features.

“I have no problem with it then.” Ororo continued, “What I have a problem with is that I think she’s showing a lack of judgment in choosing someone that will only cause her grief, in short, a murdering terrorist that’s killed over a hundred innocent people. Without a hint of remorse, or even a apology to the spirits of those she killed ”

“That was justice,” Marrow savagely said, her eyes turning hard as they stared at Storm, “And revenge for killing my people, all we wanted was to live in the Up-Worlders sewer, eat their trash, the flat scans wanted a war, I gave them one!”

“No, Marrow,” Wolverine said suddenly, “Mutants killed the Morlock’s, the people you killed knew nothing about Morlock’s, that was just you wanting to kill.” Having said what he wanted to Marrow, the mutant turned his attention to Kitty who was slowly picking at her food. “Pumpkin, you know how I feel about you, and how you live your life is your own business. But I think you’re making a mistake choosing Marrow to live it with.”

Turning to look at the silent Kitty, Marrow raised a bony eyebrow, “Excuse me Kit’s, but you’re welcome to jump in here at any time.”

Her eyes were still on the eggs as she stirred them around the plate, “If both of you felt that way about Marrow, why did you bring her into the team?”

“THAT’S IT?” Marrow screamed at Kitty as she stood, “Listen, this is the part where you suppose to stand up and tell them to fuck off, that you’ll screw whoever you want.”

“Gods Kitty,” Jubilee piped up, “First Wisdom, now Marrow, you really can pick classy people.”

“Shut up, Jubilee,” Betsy said, her attention on Kitty.

Pausing in the stirring of her eggs, Shadowcat kept her eyes downcast, this was not going how she thought it would. Instead of Ororo or Logan expressing disappointment in her, they went for the one thing that she had trouble with before she had a chance to talk with Sarah. With a deep sigh Kitty went back to stirring the eggs, “Sarah, first of all I thought what happen last night was more than a simple, excuse my language, screw.” Casting her gaze to her lover, she saw that Marrow was the faint traces of red edging onto her face. “Second, I think it’s a good question, if they think you’re a murdering terrorist, why ask you to join the team? And last of all, they are part of my family.”

Though she was nodding, Marrow didn’t pay any attention to what Kitty was saying, she only knew that she was not speaking up for her. “So, your family can talk trash to me, and I’m suppose to stand here and take it.” Pushing away from the table, Marrow raised herself up to her full height while looking down at Kitty, “So tell me, do you agree with your *family*, do you think I’m a murderer?”

“Sarah, please, let’s talk about this later, by ourselves.”

“NO,” Marrow said a bit to loudly, “Cause that’s what you think isn’t it? That’s what you want, being with a killer, that’s why you LOVED what I did to you last night, next time I’ll use something better than my te…”

Marrow didn’t get a chance to finish; with incredible speed Kitty rose from her chair, clamped her hand over her lover’s mouth and using her forearm, forcefully shoved Sarah against the kitchen counter her breakfast plate falling to the floor. Kitty’s hand muffled the cry of Marrow’s pain as the counters edge slammed against the small of her back. So swift had been Shadowcat’s reaction, even Logan was only just pushing away from the table open mouth as Kitty’s plate shattered on the tile.

Marrow struggled to break loose, only finding that she had severely underestimated Kitty’s strength. Try as she might, it was as if an iron bar was pressed against her chest, with another push, Marrow finally remembered Kitty’s muscular physique from the night before, now hidden by the baggy jersey as she looked into a pair of furious brown eyes.

“I told you Sarah,” Kitty growled through clenched teeth, “Not to go there, but if this is the only way for you to learn that I mean it, then I hope you learn fast.”

The other stayed in the chairs not wanted to aggravate the situation, “Darlin,” Wolverine said after a few seconds of heavy breathing between the two women. “Let her go darlin, this isn’t your way.” Logan was not sure that Kitty was even listening, then just as abruptly, she released Marrow of her grip and took several steps back still staring at her.

Returning the stare, Marrow then shifted her gaze to the room, looking at each shocked face, then returned back to Kitty, before whirling and stalked out of the kitchen screaming out, “FUCK YOU PRYDE, FUCK YOU!”

Silence filled the room for over a minute before Jubilee spoke up, “I thought Marrow already did that?”

“Jubilation,” Kitty said angrily

“I know,” she replied with a sigh, “shut up.”

Hand on hips, and red-faced, Shadowcat faced her family not looking at anyone in particular her tone heated, “I was still with Excalibur when all this happen, so why….why if you feel this way did you ask Marrow to join the team?”

No one said anything, just looking around at each other before Logan spoke, “The professor, he insisted that we take Marrow in.”

“We asked why,” Bobby, said as he looked around the table, realizing the seriousness of the situation he didn’t try to make a joke. “But you know how the Professor is like when he gets into one of those, ‘because I say so moods’”

Nodding in agreement, Jean looked a bit uneasy, “Not much of an excuse Kitty, but I guess we’re used to it.”

Biting her bottom lip, she looked towards the hallway, then with a determined nod of her head wondering where Marrow went, “Then I guess me and the Professor are going to have a talk, cause I’m not used to it, but first,” she added as she sniffed at the jersey, “I need a shower, been a long night.”

Jumping from her chair Jubilee looked disgusted, “You mean, you hadn’t showered since you and Marrow…..” Waving her hands in circles as if it would get her words out, the Chinese mutant finished up by saying, “OHHHHHH THAT”S NASTY!”

“JUBILEE,” came a chorus of voices from the group around the table. “SHUT UP!”

***********************************

“Kitty,” a voice in her head called. Snapping her eyes open, Shadowcat looked at the door leading to the Professor’s study.

“I’m sorry for the wait.” The telepathic voice of Professor Xavier continued. “But I had an unexpected phone call that I wish to speak to you about, please come in.”

Rising from the chair, Kitty walked to the door phasing through it, determined to get some answers to her questions. Then afterwards, she and a certain sparkplug are going to have a talk.

Part Five

Walking through the door, Kitty smiled at X-Men’s mentor, the man for whom they’ve all risked their lives for so many times. Risked their lives in the hope that one day his dream that humans and mutant could co-exist in peace. Yet, there were times she wondered if that day would ever happen, the long nights when despair would briefly over take her, yet it was her belief in the dream that kept her going.

Using the motor control of his wheelchair, Xavier came around his desk heading over to Shadowcat, hand held outwards, “Kitty my dear, I’m so glad to see you again, I have to ask your forgiveness for not being able to see you since you and Kurt have rejoined the X-Men, but I find myself more in Washington these days than at the school.”

Taking the Professor’s offered hand in a strong grip, Kitty was not surprised to see his eyebrows rise slightly at her strength. “Yes,” Kitty thought, “You’re surprised to see how much I’ve changed, then again it’s been what, two-three years?”

Waving to an over stuffed chair, Xavier could not help but smile at how the young girl who left, had developed into a beautiful young woman. “I hope we can find the time for a chess game, it’s been years since I’ve faced a good challenge.”

Letting out a short chuckle, “That’s because you quit playing against me, you thought it didn’t look good to the team for you to keep losing to a thirteen year old.” Kitty watched as the Professor let out an embarrassed laugh. Yet she could not help noticed the lines around the corners of his mouth, the bags under his eyes. “You’ve aged a lot in a few years Professor,” her mind said a bit shocked at the erosion she saw.

Xavier, let his laugh last just a little longer than necessary. Even the world most powerful telepath didn’t need to use his power could see the shock in Kitty’s eyes at his condition. Not that he would use his power to snoop on another’s thoughts without permission, his experiences since Kitty first left had shown him the consequence of abusing such power.

“I know why you’re here Kitty, Jean gave me a full report on what happen in the basement and at breakfast.”

Nodding not surprised that the man knew, little happened in the mansion that the Professor didn’t know about. Briefly she wondered what secrets he must know about the people living under this roof, yet she never saw him pass judgment. Kitty wondered, could she have the character to do that?

Resting his elbows on the arms of his wheelchair, Xavier looked at Kitty marveling at the strength he saw, someone so young confronting him, something that even Logan hesitated at. “I’m surprised to have heard about you and Marrow, then again after you left I’m ashamed to say that I never kept track of you or Kurt.”

Leaning her chin on her hand, Shadowcat relaxed, trying to put herself and the Professor at ease. “Surprised that I was with a woman?”

He realized what Kitty was doing, using her body language to relax him, enjoying the conversation, he decided to fight fire with fire by letting loose a very uncharacteristic snort, and wave of his hand. “Kitty you of all people should know better than that, you once talked in front of a school assembly years ago when that young boy killed himself. There you said that mutant, human, nerd, and gay were all labels, and that you were Kitty Pryde, and that was all the labels that you needed.” Xavier halted at the memory, fighting back the emotion that wanted to pour forth, “I was so proud of you Kitty.”

“No,” Xavier continued, “I was surprised that you picked someone closer to your own age. Ever since you came to stay with us, you’ve always been attracted to older individuals.” Waiting for a response, he continued when Shadowcat said nothing, “I blame myself for that,” Holding up his hand when Kitty started to protest, “No, you were thirteen years old, I surrounded you with team mate’s years older than you. I asked you to risk your life more times than I care to remember. You had no friends your own age except for Illyana, no Saturday nights at the movies, no trips to the mall, nothing outside of the X-Men….no youth.”

She waited to make sure that the Professor was done; even then she hesitated, hoping to find the right words. “Professor, at thirteen, I could beat anyone at chess, monkey around with the most advance computer systems. Back in Illinois, I had no friends at school; no one to talk to, why do you think it was so easy for me to leave home. There I was odd, and my mutation had not even developed yet. Here, my mind was allowed to expand, and helped a few times in saving the world. I think you really underestimate what that has done for me, if I were to die in the morning, there would be no regrets.”

They both were silent for a short time, both taking the time to absorb what had been said. Kitty was surprised how much the Professor had opened up to her, was he that lonely here in his own home?

“Now,” Xavier said coming out of his thoughts, “The reason you wanted to see me, tell me Kitty, what would happen to Marrow if we turned her over to the authorities?”

“Well, jail, trial, then at least prison, more likely lethal injection.” Shadowcat replied after a few seconds thought.

Nodding in agreement, Xavier went on, “Yes, which more than likely would bring even more terrorist acts on behalf of Marrow from other mutant’s making her a martyr.”

“Yes,” Kitty nodded, “But that happens everyday, every trial whether it’s mutant, or some other terrorist. Are you saying that bringing Sarah into the team was to save lives?”

“But there’s a bigger picture Kitty,” Xavier insisted, “Yes there’s human terrorist, but what would happen, if you had a leader of one of those groups. Have that leader live with you, eat, sleep, and feel. See how to live with your enemy in peace, show that killing is not the only way to live together. Then they leave and go back into their organization, with what they learned, they’ve become a messenger of sorts.”

Dwelling on the Professor’s words, she could see what he was hoping for, “So Sarah, is to a messenger, the first messenger of many I take it?” Seeing the returning nod, Kitty rubbed her hands over her face, trying to think of a way to say what she was feeling, until she could think of nothing else but the straightforward truth. “What about justice, what about justice for all those who died having never heard of Morlocks?” She knew the answer was not going to be to her liking when the Professor turned his gaze to the floor.

“Well Kitty, that’s where at times, presidents have to decide what would be the best for their people in the long run. I’m not a president, I only formed a small group of mutants to try and change things for the better, it was not an easy decision, but I made it, I implemented it, and ultimately, I will be judge by it.”

Xavier looked at Kitty, waiting for her to say something while she just played with the buttons on her blouse, until finally she just shook her head. “I don’t know what to say, I understand your reasons, yet…..” Letting out a sigh she just again shook her head. “I should thank you, I mean I’m seeing Sarah right?” The Professor just returned her stare not saying a word, letting the woman have the time she needed. “Maybe not after this morning, she just got me so upset at how she was baiting Ororo, I don’t want to set myself up for another betrayal.”

“Maybe you’ll like some time to think things over about Marrow, away from the mansion?” Xavier said with a tilt of his head, not pressing Kitty on who betrayed her, though he was curious, “Scott, Rogue, Kurt and the rest are due back tomorrow, it could be easier if you were not here, let them get over the initial revelation, and come back after they’ve had time to think about it?”

“What do you have in mind?”

Smiling again, he turned the chair around and pushed the hand control forward back to the desk, picking up a sheet of paper. “Emma Frost called, she wants to set up a LAN system for the school, entirely separate from the advance computers below grounds, machines that would not draw visitor’s attention. She asked if you would consider doing the work. She prefers for security that we do the work. Emma said if any of the kids at the school put it together, the drives would be filled with the latest pirated games, not schoolwork.

With a chuckle, Kitty pictured what the kids at the Massachusetts Academy would do if they got their hands on some new computers. “Alright, sounds like a plan, when do I leave?”

“There’s a car coming to pick up Jubilation later this afternoon, will that be acceptable?”

“Yes,” Kitty replied quietly, then looked at the Professor closely, “You should tell the rest of the team, they have a right to know.” Xavier nodded his head but still seemed doubtful, only to be staggered by her next words. “You’ve drifted away from them.”

“Kitty I’m sure you’re mistaken,” he started to protest.

“Yes you have,” Shadowcat insisted, “I remember when you were at all of the ballgames, watching us swim in the lake, taking charge of the bar-b-q.” pausing as the Professor muttered that he only did that cause Gambit always used too much Cajun hot sauce. “When was the last time you joined us at breakfast?”

Weakly he sighed, “Things have been so busy lately, I just don’t have the time.”

Standing, Kitty walked over to the door, pausing before she phased through the door, “You know Professor, my dad didn’t have the time either, for me or my mother. I think that’s one of the reasons I didn’t mind leaving home. It just didn’t feel like a family anymore.” Phasing through the door, Kitty looked around the entry way, she wanted to get her thoughts together before she went to see the sparkplug.

*****************************************

Jubilee ignored the knock on the door, she just wanted to go back to the Academy, this had to have been the worse visit ever. Looking out at the driveway from the window seat, she laid her chin on top of her knees, pulling her arms tighter around her legs. Wolvie was mad at her for the things she said about Kitty. Jean, Ororo and Betsy weren’t talking to her, and Kitty, well Kitty…..

“Hey there,”

“AGHHHHHhhhhh,” spinning around, she came face to face with the person she had been thinking about. “JEEZZ PRYDE! Like give me a heart attack why don’t cha, you could at least knock.”

Sitting next to Jubilation, she watched as the girl once again tucked in her legs and looked out the window. “I did knock, you didn’t answer.”

“Well duh, maybe that meant I didn’t want to see anyone?” she snapped, then flipped down her ever-present red sunglasses that had been lying on the top of her hair.

Smirking, Kitty reached up and phased the glasses off Jubilee’s face, paying no attention to the expletives she let loose. “Now listen, since this morning when you found out about Marrow you’ve been on my case. Now I want to know what the problem is.”

“I don’t have any problems,” Jubilee replied, irritated that Kitty took her shades, “If you want to be queer, that’s your problem.”

Kitty sagged against the window as Jubilee’s words stuck her like a blow, so sudden was the onslaught; she didn’t even have a chance to keep the tears from her eyes.

“KITTY!” Jubilation shouted, her voice full of concern while her hand flew up to grab the woman’s shoulder, “Kitty, what’s wrong, come on don’t cry, please don’t.”

Sniffing, Shadowcat just shook her head and wiped her eyes, “Jube’s, some word’s hurt, and what you said hurt, a lot.” Jubilee could see the tears filling Kitty’s eyes, at first she didn’t know what she meant, then in a sudden revelation she knew, “Ah, jeez Kitty, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. Please stop crying, I promise that I won’t say that word again, okay?”

She checked her pockets for a Kleenex she knew she didn’t have, then again Kitty had not expected to have such a strong reaction to Jubilee calling her a queer. She was confused enough about her feelings in the past few days, but to be confronted like this was a shock to her. Finally she just used the sleeve of her blouse to wipe her nose. “You know I never thought you would do that,” Jubilee said in a light but shaken tone, the young mutant upset that she had really hurt Kitty feelings.

“Do what?”

Pointing to her sleeve, the girl just shrugged her shoulders, “Used your blouse to wipe your nose, I mean before you’ve always been perfect.” Between sniffs, Kitty shook her head and tried to smile, “Come on Jube’s, you know that I’m not perfect.”

“Yes you were, I mean look at cha,” Jubilation awareness was fully on her friend now, “You’re beautiful, smarter than the Professor, can just about fix anything in the mansion that breaks, and can kick everyone’s butt except for Wolvie.”

It hit Kitty then, a memory over four years past. A leather clad Storm, then sporting a Mohawk confronting a brown-haired girl about Jubilee’s age, a girl that had seen her hero change in ways she didn’t like, way’s that destroyed the images Kitty then held of Ororo. “I guess I’ve come full circle.” She mumbled.

“What?” she didn’t know what Kitty meant. But at least she wasn’t crying anymore, Jubilee was not sure what hurt worse, knowing what she said hurt Kitty, or seeing the tears themselves.

“Jubilee,” Kitty started off slowly trying to remember what Ororo had said to her. “Me sleeping with Sarah, bothers you don’t it. Now you feel scared of me, you can’t help it, but you do, you’re wondering why I had to change.” She could tell that she hit the nail on the head by the expression on the girls face. “Oh Ororo,” Kitty thought, “And I thought I was the only one hurting all those years ago.”

“Wow Kitty,” an astonished Jubilee said, “are you like telepathic now?”

She could chuckle now since she knew what was wrong, and could forgive Jubilation, cause she knew the pain the girl was going though, “No, I went through what you’re going through, only for me it was with Ororo. I can only tell you that I don’t know why I changed; I wish that things could remain constant. But then I would not be who I was; I would be lying to myself.” Halting briefly to take a breath, Kitty realized the Jube’s still had her hand on her shoulder. Smiling Kitty covered it with hers, “Listen, I still feel the same about you, that won’t change. But if you feel the same way, you have to let me live my life.”

Katherine watched as Jubilation bit her bottom lip, then let out a “Offfff,” as the girl wrapped her arms around Kitty in a fierce hug, her head lying over Shadowcat’s heart. Grinning, Kitty returned the hug, tightly holding onto her friend as she placed a kiss on top of Jubilee’s head.

“Kitty, that was just a friendly kiss….right?”

“Yes, that was a for friends only kiss.”

“Okay, Kitty?”

“Yes?”

“You took a shower, right?”

Epilogue

Marrow listened to the steps above her head, after so many months she knew they belonged to Kitty. The stairs creaked as the footsteps moved downwards with the added weight of the suitcase, when they reached the bottom there was hesitation. Then a couple steps to the left, which lead to the basement. Finally they went forward towards the entry hall, and the white limousine waiting for Kitty and Jubilee. After a few minutes Sarah went down the steps to the basement, wondering why Kitty didn’t realize if she admits that she was wrong to have killed those Up-Worlders, then she was no better than the one’s who killed her people, how could she say that.

Fin